Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Working Moms vs. At-Home Moms

I try to stay away from this subject but there was a blurb on TV over the weekend about these two camps of moms duking it out over who's got it right.  Working mom's vs. At-home moms.  I worked until I had children and then quit when Caveson #1 was born.  I have been home for 16 years.  I have done some substitute teaching  for the past five years, once  my last son went to first grade.  He is heading to the middle school next year which frees me up to work more.  I must admit, I am looking forward to a bigger paycheck.
     For me, staying home with my children was the only choice in my heart.  I was blessed to be able to do just that.  I didn't miss the first steps, the first tooth, the  first words, none of that.  I was here for it all.  That was right FOR ME.
     However, I have friends who made a choice to go back to work.  They couldn't figure out why I would want to stay home.  They didn't get to experience some of those milestones - or they got a second hand view.  That was fine FOR THEM.  And you know what, it should be fine for the rest of us too.
    Staying home is not for every mom.  Some moms need that outside stimulation to be happy.  Heck, I might have been happier some days if I could have gotten out more.  That's not to say I wasn't happy staying home.  I would choose that option 100% of the time, every time.    Let's face it - it isn't always easy.  But it isn't always easy being a working mom either.
    So Ladies, for goodness sakes, let's respect the fact that all women have different needs and wants.  Why can't we just support one another, whatever our choice is, respect the differences, and lend a hand to our fellow woman.  We gals are in this together.  Once you become a mother, you are part of that "club".  Once you become a mother, you become a mother to ALL children.  It takes a village Ladies.  Let's do it together in harmony, not aggression.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day Word Kicks

What screws us up most in life
is the picture in our head
of how it's
supposed to be.

So true...

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Cemetery Stroll

Ok, before you conjure up some preconceived notion about me traipsing through cemeteries for kicks, let me set the record straight.  This is not something that I do - ever.  However, I will confess that  those old stones in those very old graveyards beckon to me when driving by. I always think I'd like to stop by sometime and read the ancient stones.   They seem to call the  old soul and farm girl in me to wonder about what life was like back then in the 1800's when someone's father or baby went to heaven.  As a mother, I too, can only say "awww"and mourn for that family who has lost a little child all those years ago.  That sacred spot is marked by a tiny lamb or angel marker bearing the words "beloved daughter" or "baby boy" and inscribed with the years, and days this child filled the family with joy.

We recently took a little field trip to a cemetery not too far from home to find the graves of some of caveman's relatives.  My 16 year old caveson had to do a genealogy  project a few years back and has continued to be interested in our family tree.  Caveson was able to find the plot numbers from the cemetery website so we had no trouble tracking down these great great great great - relatives.

While there, we admired the many different beautiful stones and wondered about the family members buried beneath.

It put me in sort of a melancholy mood taking this walk through the stones.  It was a cold, gray day, which probably added to the mood.

We felt bad for people who's stones were crumbling or sinking.  Where are their relatives?  Do they still have living relatives in the area?  It's sad to think they are all alone there.

We are going to make the trip again this summer - when the weather is warm and sunny.  A day that would support a lighter mood.  And we'll visit those relatives again - and maybe bring some flowers to brighten their resting place.  We'll admire the ornate stones, wonder about those now unreadable, and imagine what it was like for those both born and getting their wings in the 1800's.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Between The Bread

     The Sandwich Generation.  Remember that term?  Aging parents, children who still need your care.  Caught between both generations.  I am living that reality right now.  Everything extra gets put on the back burner when you're in that place.  That means crafting, leisure, blogging and at times, your joy.  Now, I'm not complaining, mind you.  Many of us, have and will, survive through it.  It can be a tough space, at times.  But there can be great joy in that place, as well.
    Our family is dealing with this two-fold.  Both my mom and Caveman's dad have had some health problems recently, which have required us to juggle many balls in the air.  A couple of recent hospital stays and a surgery coming up soon for each of them have us on the run even more than we usually run!  With our own three cave sons at home we are spread pretty thin these days.
     As difficult as it is though, it is a privilege to serve our parents.  We don't know how long we'll have them so we do what we have to do.  Over the years I have had three family members fight and lose to cancer.    I have stitched next to their hospital bed or in their room in the nursing home.  Lord knows I have completed many a stitchery during those many months I have sat, visited, and supported.
     The coming months will be no different as I once again sit by the hospital beds and stitch, visit and support.  For me it's "Stitching Therapy".  I am preparing many new patterns to stitch during these upcoming hospital stays with our parents.   One of my joys, and I now realize, one of the callings of my soul.